When dealing with compulsive liars, some tend to put a spin on everything. This type of compulsive liar will put a 180 degree spin on reality to convince their lover that their behavior and lying was not their fault. They often try to convince their significant other that it was really their own doing. They are great at putting blame on everyone and everything except themselves. Many liars make classic rationalization excuses to obscure their bad behavior. "I only did it because..." is a very common strategy among these types of compulsive liars. They are constantly putting blame elsewhere, never on themselves. The arguments that these people come up with are usually not very logical at all. The liar does not care about logic, they care about displacing blame. These arguments usually succeed in taking the focus and take the attention off the lie and the liar, this is exactly what the liar intends to do.
Here are some of the most common examples of the "I only did it because..." strategy and the true translation behind the lie:
Example 1: "I didn't think you could handle it if I told you I've been married before / used drugs / had a child..." Translation: I only lie because you are so weak.
Example 2: "I can't tell you the truth about how I'm doing financially. You always get crazy about money problems." Translation: The only reason I lied is that you are so irrational.
Example 3: "OK, so I'm having an affair. What do you expect...all you do is work, you never pay attention to me?" Translation: I only did it because you are so self-centered.
Whether a compulsive liar addresses your questions and suspicions with denial or confession or a combination of the two, their goals are the same: to get you to accept their explanations, back off, end the confrontation, and return thing to how they were before. They may carefully choose techniques to get you to believe that a serious lie was insignificant or that a pattern of lying was just a one time mistake. When your lover relies on constantly reversing the blame, you can be sure of one thing; they are pouring ever-increasing amounts of their lives into a cycle of compulsive lying.
There is an easy way to put an end to compulsive lying in a relationship. For the chronic spinner who constantly needs to shift blame elsewhere, hypnotherapy has been scientifically proven to be an effective treatment for this type of problematic lying. If you need to help the one you love...or yourself with a lying problem, Click Here to instantly download hypnotherapy MP3's!
ไม่มีความคิดเห็น:
แสดงความคิดเห็น